Ik leef

 
 

 Hello,

i have never written here before but i read some of the posts.

i am victor, i gonna be 15 in december,
i live in a childrens hospital since i was 5 year old,
i will probably never leave it again,
i have a blood disease, a rare sort of cancer.
i have a boyfriend here in the hospital who is 11, he has a room on the same floor.
we do lots of fun things together like playing on the playstation or watching movies.
it is really cool to have a friend like him to have around.
this weekend a girl here died, i did not know her very well, but i she came here a few times and was always very nice.
i sometimes write poems, i think it is just a way of dealing with feelings, this weekend i wrote a new poem, it is sort of a sad one, but that is because of what happend this weekend.
it is called 'i live', it is written in dutch, because english is not my main language and i think you can not write poems in another then your main language.
if there is someone who could translate it, please do, i would be happy that more people around the world could read it.
i just want to let people know that life is worth living,
it sometimes i hard, but when you love someone, you can just set all your problems next to you.

if there is someone who want to write me, you can on vict0r@hotmail.com .
i will write you back.

carpe diem !

vict0r

here comes my poem
---

IK LEEF
-------
 

ik leef
op de rand van
levens-
lustig

ik leef
angst en pijn verbijtend
gesteven lakens steriel en koel
ieder, alles verwijtend
bang eenzaam gevoel

ik leef
steeds de vraag -waarom
-ik- ?
steeds de vraag -wat-hoelang
-nog- ?

ik leef
gevangen, geketend
aan apparatuur, een baxter, het lot
druppels aftellend
een metronoom, een tijdsslot

ik leef
-niet meer-
los van alles, totaal verdoofd
van dit leven beroofd
in het volgende,
misschien haar op mijn hoofd ?

(victor 21 november 1998)

Posted by vict0r  to BoyWrite on November 22, 1998 at 09:47:24: