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June 7th I guess I should start by introducing myself. My name is John swift. I'm 32 years old and going bald. I'm 6 foot even and weigh 232 pounds I dated a woman for six months, two weeks and three and a half days, but she left me...she just wasn't my type tried dating men, but that wasn't right either I'm attracted to boys.....what can I say. I've held jobs from daycare worker, dishwasher, cook, salesman, stockboy....ect.ect.ect. I am now a freelance writer. I like people, but prefer to be alone. I live in a small little house, in a small little town just over an hours drive from a major city. I'm not rich I'm not famous and I don't care. I was content with life. I've carefully shielded myself from kids. I like my freedom way to much, to tempt myself with forbidden lust/love/sex "you fill in the blank" Now don't get me wrong, I have fantasies and jerk off ........yeah alot. which is why I shield myself from boys, I'm so scared of falling into temptation. better safe then sorry. Then something happened. Something my mind just couldn't comprehend. It was a good morning... late morning, but still morning I was finishing up an artical for readers digest, when there came a knock at my front door. I answered the door to find a woman standing there. She was ulgy.....butt ulgy It could be that her hair hadn't been washed or brushed in what seemed like years. It could be that she was under weight with saggy skin maybe it was the hollow looking eyes, sunken in her sockets. Damn death warmed over, looked better then she did. I didn't see the car until it honked.....a rude come the fuck on kinda honk. She spun around and screamed "GIVE ME A FUCKING MINUTE" then spun back to me I caught a glimpes of a small child hiding behind her, a frightened look upon his dirty face. I tilted my head, to try and get a better look at him. "You don't remember me.....Do you" she said KNOW HER, hell I've never seen her before. the puzzled look on my face, spoke my mind. "I'm lori" she said Images flashed through my mind. she couldn't be the Lori I dated for six months, two weeks and three and a half days Lori. "Lori haddick?" I said in disbelief She gave me a almost toothless smile. I started to feel sick, thinking...I use to kiss that mouth. The car horn blared again. she turned her head and yelled "OK.....ENOUGH ALREADY" back to me with that toothlees grin, "my old mans in a hurry" She handed me a large worn envelope. The pulled the boy from behind her and shoved him in front of me. "say hi to your daddy" she said. I stood there completely senseless, looking down into the doeful eyes of a frightened little boy. I think I was mumbling something, but I can't be sure. By the time, everything started registering. she was climbing into the car. "WAIT" I yelled "My old man and me, don't want him no more, It's your turn to be the parent" She barely had the car door shut, before he spun it around and speed down the dirt road. The car vanished in the dust, no break lights....no nothing. I'm not sure how long I stood there looking. but it was long enough for the dust to start settling, to reveal that the car was gone. I looked down at the boy....he was still watching the dust. no words, no tears, no cries. I turned and walked into the house. I started leafing through the phone book, not sure who I should call. police, child services, 911 as my fingers blindlessly fumbled in the phone book my mind tried to replay, what had just happened. I looked back towards the door......the boy was still there......watching the dust. I realized I still clutched the worn envelope, I opened it up and fumbled through the papers. I pulled out a social security card. the name on it was Joshua Swift. I pulled out a Birth certificate. Joshua Swift born on aug. 9th Mother Lori Haddick Father John Swift I looked at the dates and tried to quickly do the math in my head. He would be six....almost seven It seemed right, but I redid the math with pen and paper,,,, it still seemed right. I looked back outside.....he was still there, except now he was facing the door watching me. a son....echoed in my head, followed by the word dad. I shook my head trying to clear it, maybe I'm sleeping. DNA test slittered into my mind. But what if he was?????? But what if he wasn't?????? I stumbled into the kitchen, to get something or do something, damn my legs felt wobbley. I walked back out to the front porch. he was sitting on the steps now, staring again out at the road. I sat down beside him. I opened the can of pepsi and set it between us. I looked at the rootbeer popsicle in my hand, I don't remember getting it. I broke it in half and offered it to him. he looked at it, then at me. Lightly he took it, with a very shallow "thank you" We both sat there, sucking on our rootbeer pops. the juice dripping down our chins and hands. Just staring out at the road, wondering what in the hell just happened? More to come. |