Posted by Arion Neos on December 17, 1999 at 20:22:19:
In Reply to: From Russia with love posted by Sozhka Z. on December 17, 1999 at 05:40:50:
Nice writing.
About your tutor -- well, he was probably out of line in telling you what he told you. There's a certain power relationship going on there and my personal feeling is that he overstepped it a bit.
What to do? If you're not really interested, if you're not really curious and attracted to him, don't do anything, and if he presses the point tell him you've thought about it and really don't feel comfortable with the idea of changing the way things currently are between you.
If you decide you *are* curious, take the time to think through to yourself what the limits are to be: What you will and won't do, how fast you want it to go, how far you want it to go. Surf www.ivan.net's BoyLinks and see what others' perpectives are.
Ideally any kind of intimacy which may develop between you would be two-way; you have the right to set boundaries and insist they not be crossed.
Also understand that at your age there is bound to be some natural curiosity anyway about many different aspects of physical intimacy.
Whatever he might be feeling about you, you didn't make him feel that way -- he has probably had similar attractions to other boys -- and however you may feel about him remember that you're in a very flexible stage now and that experiments undergone now will only enhance your personal growth, not color you or turn you into some kind of odd creature later in life unless you allow them to.
There's no one who can tell you want to do. But be certain of your own limits and don't hesitate to tell him to stop if you think things are going off in a direction you don't want them to. It is your body and your heart, after all, that are in the mix, and you have the right to insist on certain rules.
Hope this helps some. I know getting stoned won't, for what that's worth. Not preaching -- just reporting a truth.
--Arion