Posted by Sozhka Z. on December 17, 1999 at 22:54:40:
In Reply to: Re: From Russia with love posted by Arion Neos on December 17, 1999 at 20:22:19:
my tutor is not the only guy that had come on to me, so many have and at first it was confusing but now I feel like I wanna do it? I just want some one who cares about me to make love to me, but I don't know who/ and isn't it all just about sexual gratification and fucking because I don't think a 9 year old is on the same level of maturity and understanding that an adult man is. Same with me, but I want to be and I want one to make love to me and I am rambling on. I just am not sure if this man/boy thing is really about love. And adult cannot not LOVE a child, they are not on the same level.
In Russia, my mother was telling my father once about the bathhouses and the boys there..and how awful and disgusting it was..same attitudes there as here. Even though all these men, well some, have tried to get with me and get me to trust them and get with them,and even though I want it, I can't help think that they are pedophiles and I am a statistic, a fuck, and exploited child and this whole thing has no point. And another thing, with all these men on me, I still feel so fucking alone.