Posted by Arion Neos on January 14, 19100 at 23:54:20:
In Reply to: Re: Shadow and gold posted by Tadzio on January 09, 19100 at 00:59:10:
now lifts the flare
sliverbright wings of greyed tarnish hope
is there and can we
and no way of knowing and i am zen but still it is hard to wait
some days phonetalk i am to you Mackey mm-kaying chortling cheerful
and then bright flick of hurt in you nicks into me as shattered mirror of soul reflects cutglass diamondbright hologram in eyes eternity suspended in snowglobe moment
that sawdusted moment when everything golden changed for you to corruption
not believing in spirits i, find somehow his voice and this and perhaps he speaks through me for a time
==
the scent of cutwood pine oak all around and one slipped beat
one overreach in worship of your young perfect beauty
birds just there and light waft breeze scent earth and home and sounds of laughter neighbors their lives
a brush a gesture like you do with your oils to canvas liquid light touch
or you moving in your grace you were always a dancer
your face was too perfect too beautful there in your strawberry tow and the dapples glading across
haloed effulgent charmed perfect sweet beautiful boy and i
one kiss too many
just one
flowers all around and that one taste that one taste too much on the petals of your mouth
how can i father to you do this how can i do this one kiss this one extra kiss the scent the perfume and you perfect and just one kiss
this and nothing else this so simple this one kiss this damning kiss
to love you like this i cannot and i do not know and can not understand why it happened like this and then gone the light in you from my life and i drove you off yes but i never wanted to wonderful child of the sunrise
i loved you past my life; past my breath; i would have stopped my heart before hurting you
somehow somewhere i believe i did hurt you and only way to expiate sin i stopped me ended me i did not know how it would hurt you i never wanted never wished
believing i was danger to you i did not know what next knew only i would die before being a danger to you
so i did
son, golden boy, warmth of my soul
if i could take it all back i would and we would hug and i dare to dream you dream of me sometimes and we share that hug that would have prevented all of this had i but the courage to talk after
one
simple
kiss
where i am you can never be for your light radiance gold love is forbidden the only the one i can ask is your forgiveness
distant touched only by shade of your memory i ask this one thing
i was never this i was never away from you and there is no power will end my love for you
in the night when the dreams come and those warm circling arms close around you and love you speechlessly and you know that perfect moment of grace
yes it is my fingertips which delicately dust your cheek
the tickle of your tears is me trying to wipe to kiss them away
i cannot be far as long as you know my name
==
he never stopped loving you
he stopped knowing how to love you after that day
the loss broke him, rent his soul
shattered and lost he had no way of carrying on
how can i think this? i have touched an edge of you
and i can see a bit of him too, i think
i do not have his words
nor his mind
nor his lips to whisper this to you in your language
but still the words are
be at peace with you and let him be at peace with him
he was only a man, only human, only lost in love with you
and never knew how to show it to you
overstepped twice, wronging you both times, he always loved you
he always loves you
i barely know you i know that
still i love you too
i will never be him i know that
still i love you too
nothing will ever make it up i know that
still i love you too
--A