Posted by BLues. on January 18, 19100 at 00:44:36:
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder.” some boylover once said that, I don’t know who. It’s true though. Believe me...it’s true...
I was far away from Randolph. Hours away, attending a Mater Fitness Course to benefit my career. These silly little courses I attended often. Pre-Ranger, SFAC, Air Assault, and all the rest. Usually stuck out in the field with scruffy hardcases searching for another patch to sew onto their shirt. Always dreaming of the boy whos memory distracted me from giving it my all. To “Be all I could be.” To “be” near him, or at least closer, while still finishing my training, constantly consumed me. Puzzled me. There had to be a way. If there was, I would find it.
I knew some of the admin’s there and one night was chatting with them. They had forgotten some files, damn, I think the form number was 201 or something like that. Been so long... They needed someone to drive back to their headquarters and pick em up. heh heh. “I’ll go really... I don’t mind...” I spoke up and added, “Can I?”
All was set. I was headed down to meet some guy who was going to give me the files. I was bused down there, so I had to drive a military vehicle back. A Humvee. Big and shaky and smelly Hummer. My chariot. My savior. The drive seemed forever. Darkness fell. Picked up the files. Wrong turn was made. Ended up at Randolph’s house. Whoops!
He jumps...FLIES! from the steps to hug me. It had been a few days since I left but we had been talking on the phone at night. He truly missed me. He told me that on the phone, but...you know...it’s just not the same as seeing the proof with your own eyes. “Why are you here?! Look at that truck! What are you doing here?!” he asks. I told him, “Well, they let me come back to see you! Can you believe that?!” The drivers door was still open and he climbed inside, mimicking cruising in it by going, “Vrroooom, Vroooom” and twisting the wheel from side to side. “Does this thing go fast?” he asks me. It was about this time I saw his mother at the window, waving. I hand motioned to her, asking to take Randolph for a ride. She nodded.“Well, are you ready?” I ask him and watch his face light up. Without any response he jumps over and into the passenger seat, buckling up, just like always.
I guess even the scenery you see the most looks different depending on where your viewing it from. Because he really didn’t talk much as we drove, just wide eyed scanning, of the cars that drove by and people we passed. I know he hoped someone he knew would see him perched up in that truck. He was so proud. Smiling proud. Turning to me to let out a hurried and excited laugh every now and then.
I, on the other hand, was more than a little nervous! What the hell was I doing! I was surely going to ruin everything! Here I was, driving through town in a Humvee, decked out in my fatigues, with a beaming, blond, and beautiful twelve year old riding beside me. Unauthorized to say the least. Nail biting nervousness!
Randolph, my God, he looks over at me during the height of this and gently looks at me. Not smiling. Not frowning. Just looking. The look of someone who was thankful, in love, understanding... He knew from my actions I was regretting this just a little bit. He says, "You know BLues... this is the happiest I’ve ever been.” It wasn’t genius on his part. We make these things out to be more than what they are. Trying to suck every bit of worth out of them... the moments I mean. ;) But it was enough, and I used it.
The worries left me. I let the happiness he was feeling flood me too, and the consequences didn’t matter at all anymore. I was in love. I was making the person I loved happy. Whatever the cost, to me...at that moment...it was worth it.
So we drove. We drove and drove all over town. Laughing and playing and having a great time. The looming prospect of a court martial was the furthest thing from my mind. Lost in those blissful states, where you say to yourself...”I could die right now....and be completely satisfied with my life.” Randolph was with me...and he was hap py. And so was I.
And that’s all that mattered.
BLues.