First Posted by Tangie to BoyWrite on September 15, 1998 at 09:38:26:
Actually, it's not really an introduction. If you've followed the Storm
Boy posts you'll have already met BR. But now that my emphasis has switched
from SB to BR it's about time the posts switch, too.
Let me introduce him anyway. BR is 8, and I've known him for almost 7 years. His mother is the partner of my ex-protege, and I've become as close as any family member. His mother knows of my past, and that I'm a BL, and - except for the occasional suggestions that I should change - accepts these facts. BR has a little brother (7) and a little sister (just under 3). His ancestry is El Salvadorian and he has the typical Central American characteristics of brown skin, black hair and large dark brown eyes. Some of you have seen several pictures of him, and the general concensus is that he is truly beautiful; heart stopping some have said.
The name Bunny Rabbit came from a friend of ours, Double Q. The first time he saw a picture of BR (remember that QQ does not have a "thing" for little boys in general) he said that "he's cute, in a Bunny Rabbit sort of way". The name has stuck, but it's not perfect. I can't imagine continuing to call him my Bunny Rabbit a few years from now. I'll have to find a better name, eventually.
BR is beautiful on more than the outside. Born with a hearing defect that was not corrected until he was 5, he suffers from a slight speech impediment (rapidly improving) and some reading difficulties. He goes to a special school as a result, but is very determined to work his way back to the mainstream. His teachers have called on more than one occasion to compliment his dedication. He is very thoughtful, quiet and responsible, though he has friends and plays well with them. He now, without complaint, washes dishes, tidies his room and takes care of his little sister. Unlike Storm Boy, he is very capable of a serious discussion, and talks to me often on a quite sophisticated level.
Last night as I sat baby sitting for him and the other two, I thought seriously about what he means to me. My interest in him is not sexual; indeed if I try to think of him that way it is an immediate turn off. That doesn't mean I don't enjoy contact with him; quite the opposite. I just don't enjoy it in THAT way. All my thoughts for him tend towards the future; his long term happiness and success. I want to be a part of that, and I can, in a way that I never could for SB. I have 7 years of friendship already with him to attest to the staying power of the relationship. And now I am solidly friends with his mother - up until recently my contact with her was dependent on the cooperation of my ex-protege but that has changed completely.
So be prepared. You will hear more about him, and my fathering experience with him, before too long.
Tangie
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Bunny Rabbit #2 - Continues - 5-03-98
It has been a while since I've written about Bunny Rabbit or Storm Boy. Time to rectify that, I guess. The rough scenario:
Storm Boy is essentially out of the picture. He is, at 10, already turning to vandalism and petty theft. I can't have enough influence on him to change this, and I can't afford to be associated with another failure. I am still polite to him, but talk to him only very briefly about once a month. His mother now thinks that because I remain friends with BR's mom, I must, de facto, be a bad influence on her son. They are moving away to another apartment soon, and I may lose track of them completely at that time. It's sad, but fortunately I didn't hurt too deeply when it fell apart.
Bunny Rabbit is very much IN the picture, as is his little brother, Mouse. If you didn't know, BR is 8 and I have known him 7 years. His mother considers me her only friend, outside of her immediate family. We talk often and I offer her as much moral support as I can. Seems that I am mentor to both the boy AND his mother this time around; an unusual state of affairs for me.
BR is still training to be a model, and has his first professional show later this month. I took some modeling style photos of him a little while back, and they are stunning (as I think a few of you may have seen). He still visits fairly often, along with the family. He was here a couple of days a week or so ago. By the way, BR and Mouse have their own room at my house, as does their mother, again, probably unusual for a BL friendship.
The night he was here, BR came down to the computer room, as usual, and typed hellos to some of the fellows on IRC. Then he decided to draw (he loves drawing). He dug through the CD's and found West Side Story, and put it on, then curled up on the chair beside me with his paper and pencils and went to work. Mouse also came in and took another chair and drew too. This lasted for a while, then the music changed to some marches, starting with Bridge over the River Kwai. Well, neither of the boys knew how to march, so I showed them.
Within a couple of minutes I was watching two delighted boys marching in circles around the room, arms held up with elbows bent at right angles, pursued by a very animated Bozo (my 3 year old sheltie). It was great fun and they laughed the whole time.
Last weekend, BR arrived just as I was about to go out for the day. He insisted that I take him to the shopping center to buy some Spider Man thing or another. So, of course, I did. He is a delight to shop with; he is not overly demanding and does NOT insist that I buy him everything on the shelf. He had a specific idea in mind (Spiderman spray web) and that is all he asked for. He has a nice mix of independence and obedience, too. Just a thoroughly delightful boy, with a face that literally stuns other shoppers (yes, they do stop and stare).
BR and his mother and I have been through many forms of hell together. It forms an unbreakable bond. Sure she gets very angry at me sometimes (and at others too) but no matter what she says she always comes back. She knows I'm gay and a BL, and has accepted that for years now. She also knows that the boys are absolutely safe with me. They have become family, in fact, to the point where I find myself ignoring them sometimes when they are here. And perhaps that is a good thing, too, since they won't get the idea that I'm a pushover to do anything for them whenever they ask. It also keeps them working hard to retain my affection (they don't have to work hard really, but sometimes I don't tell them that).
Not a very exciting post, I guess. But it does show some of the good side of BL. I'll post again from time to time. I think I'll have material to last at least another 10 to 15 years.
Tangie
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Bunny Rabbit #3 -Bunny Rabbit's Modeling Debut - May 31, 1998 at 23:06:29:
It's been quite a while since I wrote about my adorable Bunny Rabbit, but he's just fine. (So is his little brother, but he's not the hero of today's story).
Some of you know that BR has been studying to be a model (if you missed the post I believe it is up on M.E.'s page under the ludicrous heading of This Boy is in Danger :))) Tonight was his debut.
It started off on a somewhat acrimonious note. Since his stepfather is now working 7 days a week, I promised to take BR and his mom to the show. Since the show started at 8 I took my time coming back from my summer place and arrived about 3:30; lots of time. Checked the answering machine and there were two furious calls from BR's mom. Where the hell was I? He was supposed to be there at 3! Oops. Nobody told me that. So I crawled back into the car and picked them up; he arrived about 80 minutes late for the rehearsal. Turned out to be no problem. At least he was in a pretty good mood!
After leaving him I drove her back home and came back to my place for a little while, then picked her and her mother up and took them both to the show itself.
I've never been to a modeling show before. I can tell you that the music was too loud, and the lights in my eyes too bright, for maximum comfort. The models ranged in age from 8 (BR) to 40-odd, mostly female but a few young men (none cute, sadly). There were about 250 people in the audience. The show was profiling local designers and merchants (mind you, Montreal is a bit of a fashion center so it was pretty high class stuff).
They did their walking on a cross-shaped raised platform. To my delight, BR was in the first group out, along with two girls about 2 or 3 years older than he is. He did well. He seemed confident and his moves were sure and graceful. He didn't appear to have any stage fright. I watched the audience as the models split off to different points of the cross; the audience was watching BR. He was modeling boys' sports wear; short sleeved shirt, short pants and carrying a beach ball of some sort.
The next time he was on he was modeling sleepware. Red short sleeved pyjama top, white pyjama shorts, with bare legs and bare feet. I love watching him walk barefoot; his feet are so flexible.
Just before intermission there was a coreographed dance sequence, with most of the models taking part. BR hammed it up very cutely, and when he was stopped at the point nearest us a woman tried to get his attention. He looked straight at her, put out his two hands which he had formed into pistol shape, said "bang" and grinned at her. That was the only point in the entire 4 hour show that the audience actually cheered.
A bit later in the sequence he forgot which point he was supposed to go to next. He stood undecided for a second in the middle, then grinned and shrugged his shoulders and set out in what turned out to be the wrong direction. The coreographer motioned to him to turn around, so he did, shrugged his shoulders and grinned again, this time getting whistles and applause from the audience. They clearly adored him; so did I.
The last sequence involved the entire cast again, waving dark handkerchiefs to the music from Titanic. Near the end of the sequence, one of the female models was right beside him. She couldn't take it anymore, apparently, and grabbed him and picked him up and hugged him. This got another round of happy applause.
After it was all over (just after midnight, which is why this post is late) he came out and we started to head for the car, but he said that they hadn't given him anything to eat. So the mom and grandmother sat down to wait in a park (you can do that after midnight in Montreal without fear) while I took him to a nearby hamburger place to stock up (he wanted poutine, of course).
Then it was back home to his place. I did get a hug. Am I proud? You bet I am!
His mom and stepfather are now both working on weekends, so next weekend I get Bunny Rabbit and his brother to take to the lake! I get grandma as chaperone, too, but that's OK; she cooks well. She's nice, anyway.
I'll write about swimming lessons next time.
Tangie
P.S. Poutine is Quebec style french fries (i.e. rather soggy but GOOD!) with gravy and melted cheese.
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Bunny Rabbit #4 - The Bunny Rabbit Cure - June 9, 1998.
I work at home doing tech writing on contract. I don't get to see many people during a day. By early evening today I had not seen a living soul since Saturday, and I was going a bit mad. When I reached the point where I was screaming at the computer at the top of my lungs while I tried to type, and making more mistakes than correct letters, I realized that something had to be done.
Let's see. How do I usually relax? Easy; go on IRC. Ummm... yeah, but that's more computer work. What haven't I done for a while? Seen Bunny Rabbit! His mother and step-dad now both work until late evening, and the boys haven't been here to visit for weeks. Grandma takes care of them. So I called Grandma and there was still time before bed. Off I went.
Now, BR's mom doesn't believe that boys should be hugged or shown affection. She thinks that is reserved for girls. I think she is very wrong. However, BR has stopped giving hugs completely and I was afraid he didn't like me anymore. Wrong. Grandma doesn't agree with her daughter, and when I opened the door I was greeted by a running BR who jumped into my arms, shirtless, and gave me a huge tight hug and kiss on the cheek. This was followed by the same from Mouse (his 7 yo brother) and Vee, his 3 year old sister. (Oh, sorry; she's a girl. Oh well, Ozy will be happy.)
They wanted to go to the store, a couple of blocks away, so I took them there (all three) then spent another hour or so at the apartment. The boys were drawing pictures (which BR LOVES to do; he spends hours at it) and drew some for me. BR drew me a heart and cut it out and gave it to me. I just adore watching him now; his modeling lessons have made him even more graceful as he walks; he now models without thinking. (Never mind that he was modeling the top half of The Emperor's New Clothes - he still looked great.)
We said goodnight with more hugs and kisses, and I headed for home, stopping off for another hour or so at Camper's place (Bach was there too) for a visit and ice cream under the full moon on his deck talking about ... computers. Yeah, I know, it should have been boys, but they get tired of hearing about Bunny Rabbit! While I was there BR's mom called me to say hello. She had just arrived home and had heard that I'd been there. She told me I should not stay alone all the time and that I should come to the apartment EVERY NIGHT to be with the boys and help them with homework. I may just do something along those lines.
I was very depressed and angry earlier tonight; now I feel relaxed and content.
Tangie
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Bunny Rabbit #5: Storm Boy - Just Won't Go Away! June 12, 1998
Yesterday was another frustrating day working on this damned contract and by suppertime I was on the verge of utter madness. The phone rang; it was Mouse (BR's little brother) demanding to know when I was coming to visit. Of course, his BIG question was what kind of present was I going to bring for him (8 year olds are incredibly selfish). I told him if all he cared about was the present and not me that I wouldn't come. Oops... he beat a hasty retreat and assured me that it was really ME he wanted to see and not the present. But what kind of present was I going to bring anyway?
So off I went to the dollar store for a mini buying spree. Similar little sailing ships for BR and Mouse, a rubber lion for Vee (their 3 yo half-sister). Identical colored felt markers for the boys, crayons for Vee. Of course, grandma was babysitting, as always; she more or less lives there now with mom working. So I got a couple of big hugs and kisses (BR is very reserved when mom is there, but very affectionate when grandma is in charge) and tried to give out the presents in a civilized fashion. Great glee was followed by consternation: why did I get the same things for both of them? They wanted to be different. Yeah, sure. Last time I tried different they just about started WW3 because they each wanted what the other got.
The next hour was spent with Vee repeatedly showing me the "house" she had built out of a box and a blanket, and very sternly (hands on hips and an angry countenance) warning me that I was too big and I was not allowed in her house (believe me, it was hilarious). But most of the time I just watched Bunny Rabbit lying on his tummy at my feet coloring pictures with his new felt pens. He adores drawing and is doing very well at it. A year ago he was very sloppy, when he colored things there wasn't even a semblance of accuracy, now he is very precise and takes great pride in what he does. The longer I know him the more I adore him.
Time came to leave, and when I got back to street level I looked down the lane and there was Storm Boy outside the french window on his ground floor apartment. Over I went to say hello, and to try my luck at retrieving the TV I had loaned him. His mom was there, and I went in for a few minutes. He was huggy and kissy too, and even though I have resolved to keep my distance emotionally from him I was once again utterly captivated by his sheer beauty, which is all the more surprising since he has about the ugliest mother I've ever met. She's big and very heavy, broad faced with teeth sticking out in all directions; he's slim and incredibly handsome. I'm told his father is a bit of an ugly brute, too. Wonder what happened to heredity?
Mother was very friendly, and it became clear that this was partly because she wanted to borrow money. I tried in vain to point out that I no longer have guaranteed employment, and ended up putting her off with the excuse (yeah sure, not really an excuse) that I didn't have any money. Then came the question of the photos.
Now I've had irate parents accost me before about photos, generally demanding all the prints and the negatives (this was a long time ago and that's another story altogether). This wasn't anything like that. On SB's birthday in February, before the two families began their feud, BR and his brother were at the party at my house. I took individual (many of you have seen them) and group pics. When time came to distribute them, BR's mom insisted that I NEVER give the group photos to SB's mom. To be safe, I kept them myself and didn't give them to anyone.
Last night, SB's mom demanded to know what happened to the group photos. I told her I had kept them. She called me a liar, and demanded that I produce them. She insisted that I had given them to BR's mom. Why? Because SB has suffered from back pain and headaches. So? Believe it or not BLACK MAGIC!!! These people are firm believers and she was convinced that BR's mom was sticking pins in the photo of SB and causing the pains. On Saturday I have to go there and produce the group photos, sigh.
Then it was home with a brief stop at the Ganymede library to talk to a couple of the guys, and I ended up feeling a lot more relaxed than I had at suppertime. Didn't get any supper, though.
So I have a question for you all out there. I know that BLs have to contend with all kinds of parental suspicion and disapproval; I've had to contend with it all my life. But has anyone else ever run into parents that LOVE you to show physical affection to their boys but are paranoid about witchcraft? Geez.
Tangie
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Bunny Rabbit #6: BR Moment - As Promised - June 17, 1998
I did promise a number of people that I'd come back from time to time to post about Bunny Rabbit, and here I am.
I went rather unexpectedly to his apartment tonight. His step father (my former protege) got paid yesterday and apparently turned a significant amount of the filthy lucre into substances of which I do not approve. BR's mom was angry, and so was I, since my finances are involved as well (i.e. he owes me money). She asked if I could try to find him, since I know several of his haunts. So off I went to try. With no success, of course.
So I ended up at the apartment, which was hot and humid. BR and Mouse were in their bedroom playing with a basketball. So was Vee, their 3 yo sister. Mouse was on the top bunk, BR on a chair across the room. Somehow I seem to have become involved in the game, and we spent the next half hour throwing and catching the ball. I had them trying to pick it up from above with one hand (I can do it because my hand is much larger), then, since I could pick up the ball with one hand, Mouse wanted me to pick up HIM with one hand.
Did you ever try to do that? Pick up an 8 yo boy by putting your hand under his butt and lifting? It's a supreme act of balance, and while my strength was adequate, his balance wasn't! Then of course BR had to try, which was equally unsuccessful, and equally fun. By the way, both boys were barefoot; Mouse was wearing jeans and a T-shirt, BR only a pair of shorts.
Then it was off to the living room to talk to BR's mom for a bit, and I suddenly realized that BR was leaning against the sofa. Ah well, what the heck. I quickly leaned down and grabbed his ankles, then pulled. He was then hanging upside down inches above the floor. Then I started spinning around in a circle. Those of you who have tried this will realize that the boy gradually assumes a higher and higher angle the faster you go! The speed is limited by the size of the living room: head contact with a chair at those speeds is NOT to be contemplated!
Needless to say, the whole exercise was met with squeals of utter delight, and as soon as I put him down Mouse started begging for the same. Well, what could I do? So Mouse got his turn too. When THAT stopped, BR was sitting down with his feet held out saying "ME! ME! ME!". Hmmm... I tried to walk over to him, but the room was spinning madly around. I had to grab a wall for support! Took about a minute before BR got his second turn.
After it was over, I got hugged and kissed by both of them. But you know what? I prefer them dry, not all hot and sweaty. Oh, they don't smell bad or anything, but, well, I love the feel of smooth clean boys.
Mom (Grandma was there too) was delighted. I had to give her a lift to pick up something and on the way she berated their stepfather and grandfather who never seem to have time for the boys. She said they NEED a man to play with them like that, and would I please come more often. We also talked about BL. She knows I like teenage boys, and she knows I've been intimate with a couple (hard to hide when you've been jailed for it). She also knows I won't touch her boys, who are much younger of course. She and I had a spirited discussion; she thinks I should only be interested in adult men. But I've got her down from "about your age" to 18 now, and she shows signs of agreeing that 15 or 16 is OK. In any case, the discussions are carried on in a spirit of understanding and cooperation, which is quite refreshing. Indeed, today she admitted that she knew 15 year old boys who were more mature emotionally than BR's stepfather, and said that maybe some of them WERE old enough to decide for themselves.
We ended up agreeing that each case had to be evaluated on its individual merits, then I went back up to the apartment and gave one more quick swing each before leaving. Oh, Vee got her turn too.
By the way, the two boys are making only limited progress with English, but Vee at 3 is coming along marvellously, and is actually doing MUCH better than her brothers.
Tangie