Storms bring BOYS!


Well, just when I was thinking that no good could ever come from this damned ice storm of the century, my power came back. It was quite an impressive show. I was clearing my driveway, and a large maintenance truck, flashing lights, spotlights, etc. came very slowly down the road, clearing branches, cleaning ice off power lines, etc. I walked along, expecting to ask them in French what was the prospect, and was amazed to find them talking in clear Bostonian!

To make a long story short, there were actually 5 trucks, one from Massachusetts, one from Connecticut fixing wires, one from Hydro Quebec doing likewise, one from the city munching trees in this incredible thingy that turns a tree into sawdust in about 10 seconds, and one big army truck with about 20 soldiers. It really warmed my heart to see this cooperation from the the U.S. utilities; thanks guys!

But there was even more. Turns out that Bunny Rabbit (my 8 yo friend) and Mouse's (his 7 yo brother) apartment was freezing without power. Their mother asked if she and her neighbour could come over to stay until their power came back. And the neighbour would bring her 10 yo son! I was wondering what he would be like. Well, I was very well rewarded, he is G O R G E O U S!!!! Nice latino boy, large liquid brown eyes... oh hell, where's the damned camera? Can you still get SX-70 film?

Looks like it might be a nice weekend. I'll have to see if I can find my camera; maybe have a treat for you guys soon. Too bad the Ganymede meeting is cancelled this week; I'll just have to stay with the boys!

Tangie

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Storm boy. January 10, 1998 at 14:22:17:

It has been quite a day. The power went off again at midnight, so we slept in the dark (not too bad) and cold (not too good). The various people harboring here were distributed well enough, and I got to bed a bit late.

Those of you who missed my earlier post should know that in addition to Bunny Rabbit (8) and Mouse (7) and their parents, one of their neighbours and her 10 yo son stayed. The 10 yo is an utter knockout, and stole my heart within about 3 seconds flat. Let's call him Storm Boy.

Storm Boy was a bit reserved at first, but warmed up to me quickly today. His mother was very reserved too, but after a talk with Bunny Rabbit's mom she changed her mind completely. Storm Boy is a bright, stunning boy with boundless energy and a smile that will stop your heart. He comes from an underprivileged background and his father sees him about once a year. He has only ridden in a car a half dozen times in his life and has no access to the normal middle class trappings of life. His mother's greatest regret is that he has no man in his life and she is unable to satisfy his boundless curiosity because of her limited education. She is desperately looking for a solution to this problem :)))))))

I think the problem has been solved, to my utter delight and her great satisfaction. And to SB's, too; he is absolutely ecstatic.

The power is now back on, and I hope it stays this time. Although I am reminded of the recommendation for keeping warm from the local radio stations; strip completely and sleep skin to skin for maximum heat transfer. Oh, SB? Where are you? I'm cold!

I'll post about Storm Boy from time to time.

And to my best virtual friend, just to let him know he's still number one.

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Storm Boy, part two. January 11, 1998 at 09:47:35:

I'm really getting to know Storm Boy and the more I do the more I like him. Took a bunch of photos of him outside chopping wood this morning; he's very photogenic.

Since he's had no man in his life he was fascinated to watch me shave, and did a careful comparison of the before and after texture :))) I could get to like this! Then he found a stethoscope and gave me an examination; which was more fun than the last time the doctor did it.

He's very quick to learn, and is busy drilling holes in pieces of wood now. He wrote a short story (about 5 lines) on the computer this morning too. He has some reading difficulties, so this is a real achievement for him.

His mom is delighted with my presence in his life, and has now told me she's going to be doing my housecleaning for me in return. Hey, this is pretty good!

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Storm Boy pt3; the Road Roughens: January 12, 1998 at 10:14:30:

Hi All,

Things are slowly returning to normal after the ice storm; only 650,000 customers without power as of this morning. Thankfully, I've not been one of them since Saturday afternoon.

Regular readers will know that the storm brought two welfare families to live with me while awaiting the return of heat in their apartments. One family has been very close to me; the man of the family has been a protege of mine for about 8 years now, which has hardly been easy. Bunny Rabbit (8) and Mouse (7) are the two boys in that family. They brought with them a neighbour, a single mother with a 9 (almost 10) year old son who is so stunning my heart just stopped when I first saw him.

They've been with me for 3 days now, and the mother's dearest wish, to find a man for her son's life, has been fulfilled. She told me this morning that I was a gift from God (funny, that's not what the court appointed shrink said a decade ago) for her son. He has taken to me incredibly quickly; as if he had a huge vacuum inside that had to be instantly filled.

But last night the trouble started. SB's mother was stricken with a severe asthma attack and had to be taken to the hospital. It soon became evident that he was overly dependent on her, and he went into a fit of depression and crying. He came out of it in an hour or so, but it scared me more than a little.

This morning I came to work and shortly thereafter received a phone call. Storm Boy had totally freaked. He had accidentally happened upon a little "present" left overnight by my dog (who needs a bit more house training, apparently) and something snapped. He started screaming, smeared the doggy doo on the other two boys, and ran out into the freezing cold where he lay on the snow screaming for his mother and for the police to go and get her. I rushed home to find him inside, in tears.

I held him for a few minutes while he sobbed quietly, then he opened his hand to show me the torn up remnants of my phone number, which I had given him. Through the sobs he asked if he could have another copy.

He was OK a little while later, but now I guess steps have to be taken. His mother arrived home soon thereafter, and I told her that I wanted to take some steps to break his total dependence on her. I suggested that he come over on weekends, at first with Bunny Rabbit and Mouse, but then on his own. I also suggested that we send him to a summer camp for a week or two. It was at this point that she started thanking me and saying I was a gift from God.

Well, God, you've given ME this gift too. Now how about giving me the strength to deal with it?

Tangie

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Some clarifications: January 12, 1998 at 13:07:58:

In Reply to: Storm Boy pt3; the Road Roughens posted by Tangie on January 12, 1998 at 10:00:07:

Let's try to clear up a few things.

First, I was initially attracted to this boy by his appearance. No argument there. But when I looked beneath the surface, I saw someone in need. And that is FAR more important, the appearance just makes it easier to devote the necessary effort, as most of you know.

Secondly, I've been bitten before trying to help a boy in need, and bitten HARD. I'm aware that it could happen again. But I don't think I can live my life without taking risk, nor do I think that something worthwhile should be avoided if there is an element of risk.

Thirdly, I'm also aware that a co-dependency could result. In fact, this happens in almost any relationship with another person, spouses and children and parents all included. The thing is that if both people are happy with the relationship, the co-dependency, if it is not overwhelming, need not cause any problems. I've had relationships like this; I'm in one wonderful one right now. If one of the parties feels smothered, or takes advantage of the other, the relationship fails.

Finally, like most BLs here, I'm sexually attracted to boys. But the friendship is FAR more important, and I'll simply have to do without the sex. Period. Doesn't abstinance make the heart grow fonder? (oh, no, that's absence... oh well.) I've done this before often enough to know that I have the control required.

I'm going ahead with this; and I'll try to take precautions to protect Storm Boy and myself, but the heart is sometimes stronger than reason; I think that's called being human.

Tangie

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Storm Boy part 4: January 13, 1998 at 06:47:50:

Storm Boy weathered the rest of the day without more hysterics, and was ecstatic to see me when I got home. His mother and the rest of the adults left to check on their apartments, leaving me with Storm Boy and Bunny Rabbit (thanks, QQ, for that name) for the evening. It was a delightfully hectic and utterly unproductive evening (I had lots to do which simply didn't get done).

Spent a few minutes on the phone with Pedro, with a boy snuggled on each side of me. Could have been worse. He tried his limited Spanish on Storm Boy (who speaks only Spanish and French); on my end all I saw was a range of facial expressions, which were a delight in themselves.

When everyone came back the kids set up a Nintendo, rescued from Storm Boy's apartment, in the living room, and I went downstairs to catch up with email, BC and paying bills. About 15 minutes later Storm Boy arrived, wrapped in a blanket, and pulled together two office chairs to make a bed. He lay down and asked for music. What sort? He likes classical music, of all things. He soon fell asleep listening to Faure's Sicilliene and Debussy's Children's Corner. It was a scene directly from heaven.

I think I've been incredibly lucky.

Tangie

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Posted by pedro on January 13, 1998 at 21:20:00:

Hello all!

I just met Storm Boy, Tangie's young friend. Words fail me. My lips fail to utter. My knees wobble and my hands shake.

He is freaking a-mazing! Unfortunately I only saw him briefly, but I did get to shake his hands and exchange a few words. Tangie was everything he said, at least as far as looks went. (I only saw him briefly.) He is ten years old, has silky straight dark brown hair that's parted in the middle and the loveliest brown "moony" eyes. I took me quite a while to recover at all, and I'm still on Cloud 9. Camper John met him too, and concurs.

Thanks for bringing him by, Tangie! I brought a movie with me that Tangie wants to see (totally legit!), and when he heard I had it, I half-kidded him that he knew what the price was for me to loan it to him--another visit from Storm Boy--this time preferably indoors! I know he'll do the best he can do! It's really not possible for me to convey what meeting him meant to me. Yes, he was extremely beautiful and all that. By the way--that boy just GLOWS! I think the sun and moon may get together and complain that he outshines them both! Well, this meant a lot to me because it was the first time I met a cute boy (or any boy) since I've come to this wonderful place and really started accepting and understanding who I am. I'd come pretty far on my own, but meeting other BLers has totally changed my life for the far, far better. I feel like my head's on straight for the first time in my life. So, he'll always be special to me for that reason, even if I never see him again, which if that's the case Tangie will have to die, but seriously.

Enough said, I think. If Tangie complains about anything at all anytime in the next year or so, just shoot him, OK? Can you tell I'm jealous? But also glad.

Completamente enamorado,

--pedro

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Just to clarify...

Posted by Tangie on January 13, 1998 at 23:11:45:

In Reply to: STORM BOY--seeing is believing posted by pedro on January 13, 1998 at 21:20:00:

"Tangie was everything he said, at least as far as looks went. (I only saw him briefly.) He is ten years old..."

I'd like to point out that your syntax has it looking as if I am 10 years old, etc. That is not the case. Storm Boy is - almost. He's actually 9, 10 next month.

Hey, Pedro I TOLD you so! I still can hardly believe it. Tonight he fell asleep in the chair beside me. The other boys were watching Ace Ventura, but he just wanted to be beside me and listen to some quiet classical music. If you think he's beautiful awake...

He ran to the car and hugged me when I got home today. That's the first time in my life. He tugged me into the house, to my room, where he proudly displayed the drawings he had done for me. One was a card asking me to come and get him next weekend so he could be here again. It was signed by both him and his mother.

You're right, he glows. My heart just stops in awe watching him. And I want to do this one absolutely right. We must be best friends a decade from now, too.

His mother's friend, who is Bunny Rabbit's mother (most of you know who Bunny Rabbit is) is aware that I am a BL. She knows the whole story of my past. But I've been Grandpa to Bunny Rabbit since he was born, and she gave the absolute green light to Storm Boy's mother.

Anyway, Pedro, eat your heart out (gloat, gloat). I get to kiss him goodnight. Get kissed back, too. Oh, Lord, if they could bottle that scent of little boy hair...

Tangie

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Storm Boy, part 5: January 14, 1998 at 23:19:18:

It has been a rough evening. Storm Boy and the others are still here; they were going to go home; Storm Boy has never been away from home for so long, but he persuaded them to stay.

After we looked at the photos I brought back of him and the other two boys, we headed off to rent Liar, Liar and something else. On the way, BR and M's stepfather (an alcoholic) called to ask me to buy beer for him. I refused. Later, I called home to ask him what film he wanted, and he had left, and BR and M's mother was in hysterics, blaming me for everything as she usually does.

By the time I got home, she was no longer blaming me, but the rest of the evening was none too pleasant. The stepfather is very jealous of my affection for Storm Boy, and is doing his best to break it up, but everyone else, especially Storm Boy's mother, is on my side.

SB has become very affectionate. He follows me everywhere and is content just to sit beside me and watch me on the computer instead of watching TV. As Pedro says, he glows. He delights in running across the room and hugging me, with virtually no provocation. Of course, this means I have to hug BR and M, too, if they are in the room.

SB's mother told me that last night she prayed that God would give me a long enough life to really do some good for SB. Storm Boy has now decided that I'm going to be his Papa, and has started calling me that. I think he's proud to have a papa now, just like the other kids do.

Pedro, I'll bring along some pics Saturday; I would bring SB himself, but it's not really feasible.

Somewhat uneasy Tangie.

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Good evening all: 1-15-98 8:35:12p (SafeHaven)

I trust that the invitation from LonePine was legit and that I'm welcome to post here. Not sure how often I will; BC alone keeps me very busy, but I should be here from time to time if you'll allow.

Indeed, I've had damned little time for any internet activity lately; I just can't seem to get rid of Storm Boy :)))) He was supposed to go home Monday, but seems to be still here. Apparently he spends the day looking at his watch and asking his mother "how long until Tangie gets home".

So to all who wonder why I've been on less frequently, or why I haven't answered some of my voluminous email (except for one virtual friend whom you all know and who gets preferential treatment for his 3 or 4 letters most days) it's because boys come first! As I write this Storm Boy is sleeping upstairs (I had to carry him in from the car where he fell asleep) and Bunny Rabbit is asleep in the office chair beside me, where he fell asleep listening to Beethoven. Gee, nothing too bad about this, is there?

Tangie

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Storm Boy #6: January 15, 1998 at 22:40:25:

It is now day 6 of my new life with Storm Boy. He was supposed to stay for about 2 days, but is still here. Several things have happened during that time:

     
  1. We have fallen in love.
  2. He has decided I'm his poppa.
  3. His mother has said that I'm the gift from God that she's been praying for (which is pretty well exactly the opposite of what the judge said a decade ago... but I digress).
  4. I seem to have a son.
This is a new experience for me, but I like it very much. Tonight I went to visit Camper, Pedro and Cham for a few minutes to pick up a tape. Storm Boy and Bunny Rabbit came with me. Storm Boy fell asleep on the way, and we weren't able to go up to the apartment. I tried to wake him, but he just ended up sleeping with his cheek resting on the palm of my hand.

When I got home I had to carry him through the snow and ice and put him to bed. And guess what; I get to kiss him now too.

Storm Boy doesn't know he's a loved boy; at least, he doesn't even know there is something like boy love. But in 10 years he'll know.

Tangie

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Concerns about Storm Boy's Health: 1-16-98 10:26:16p

Do I need to introduce my darling Storm Boy? He now calls me poppa and has totally fallen in love with me. He just went home after 7 days; I'll pick him up again Saturday night.

Now, he has a "behavior" problem, and is going to a special school as a result. But I don't think it IS a behavior problem, I think it's a medical problem. Now I'm going to see about finding suitable specialists, but I wonder if the description that follows rings a bell with anyone here?

From time to time, apparently about 2 or 3 times a week, he'll be talking and playing perfectly normally, and all of a sudden, he'll freeze. He generally sits down at this point, but sometimes becomes hysterical and starts screaming. The quiet mode is most common. He becomes almost completely unresponsive, and very unhappy. You can talk to him, but he doesn't seem to listen to what you're actually saying. He won't talk in response, but you can persuade him to nod or shake his head.

After about 10 to 15 minutes, he'll mumble about what's bothering him, but it is usually something that didn't happen. For example, the other day Bunny Rabbit's mother was talking to him and he froze. When he started to mumble about the problems he kept saying he wanted to go home. Eventually he said that it was because she had said he could never come back to see me again. But she hadn't said anything even remotely close to that; I was there the whole time.

After the mumbling part he starts to cry, usually quietly. Then he seems to recover, and sometimes apologizes. After that he invariably gets extremely sleepy and will usually sleep for an hour or more.

Now this does NOT sound like a routine behavior problem to me. In fact, it almost sounds like epilepsy. Does epilepsy ever affect the cognitive, rather than the motor parts of the brain? The elation before, unresponsiveness during, and crying and tiredness afterwards seem to ring a bell with me.

Anyone any experience with this? I'm involved in his life big time now, and I guess it's become my problem. His mother doesn't understand any of this.

Sorry this isn't a regular Storm Boy post; I'm too tired to do one tonight. But he IS gorgeous and affectionate and I love him a lot. For the first time in a decade TANGIE IS ACTUALLY HAPPY!

Happy Tangie.

P.S. I've scanned a few pics of him, but they're not posted anywhere yet. I'm considering putting them up on my story page site. I'll let you know.

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Storm Boy: Posted by Spike on 1-16-98 4:56:12p

I get such a thrill from stories like that of StormBoy and Wabbit's Ganymede. I see myself at 9, fatherless for a year, before I met J, and your words and thoughts blend with my recollections. I wonder what I would have felt having met you in a similar situation? This excursion into fantasy makes my day.

Spike

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Storm Boy part whatever: January 19, 1998 at 12:43:43:

A young virtual friend suggested to me that I haven't been posting enough about Storm Boy recently. My only excuse is that he's been taking up so much of my time I haven't had the chance! He likes to watch as I'm typing, though, and though he doesn't read English he grins every time he sees his name on the screen. He knows nothing of BC or BL, and, at 9, I'm not planning to discuss it with him. Maybe in a couple of years.

Our friendship continues to grow. He now calls me "poppa" and has told his friends that he now has a father. This, apparently, has made him very proud. He's a bit undisciplined, but that will change quickly. He is very sensitive and hurts easily if I speak sharply to him, which I have to do on rare occasions. Yesterday he lit a fire in the fireplace against my specific instructions, and didn't know to open the flue. I burned my hand thrusting it through the flames to open the flue. I must admit that I spoke VERY sharply at that time. He ran into his room, closed and locked the door, and wouldn't let me in for about 15 minutes (I have a key but won't use it except for emergencies). Finally, he opened the door and was sobbing on the bed. I lay down beside him and put my arm around him and reminded him that what he had done was bad but that I loved him. After a few minutes of quiet talking he kissed my cheek and smiled at me.

Yesterday I asked him when he had realized that he wanted me as his poppa. He said "La premier instant que j'ai vous vu." or "The first instant I saw you." (thus beating me by about 1/2 second :). His mother beamed and took that as an indication that this has all been arranged by "le bon Dieu". If that is so, I must apologise to about 3 million people who went without power in a freezing January ice storm just so I could meet him!

It's hard to express how I feel about him. He's my son, now. In the BL sense he's not really a YF because, to me at least, any kind of sexual relationship is incompatible with parenting. There IS a power relationship here, there MUST be if he is to develop and grow. I won't compromise that. But there's no doubt that he is a delight to be with!

My life is now much fuller than it was only a few short days ago. A few of you have actually met Storm Boy, so there is NO DOUBT that he is real. I have scanned pics of him, but won't post them anywhere public for reasons of privacy. Recognized BC posters may be privileged to see them. Email me.

And, to my immense delight, my virtual loved one is taking great vicarious pleasure in my friendship with Storm Boy, rather than being jealous as might have been the case. My respect for him knows no bounds.

Is there some reason that little boys have cheeks that flush when they're happy and excited? What incredible beauty.

Tangie

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Storm Boy - Can I Continue?: 1-21-98 10:03:23a

I'm running into difficulties with Storm Boy, mostly because of his older half brother (J).

J is 21 and a wastrel. He's into petty crime, drugs, prostitution and abuses his mother mercilessly. She has decided that this is because she did not protect him enough when he was a boy, so she has become impossibly over protective with SB, to the point where he can't function if she is not present, even at school. Part of my goal was to break this over protectiveness, but that may no longer be possible.

J has berated mom for several days now about how dangerous ANY man is for a boy, and how she should NEVER trust me. She is starting to believe. She now says that she will always be there whenever SB is with me. If this continues, there is really not much I can do for him and the whole thing will be an exercise in frustration and despair. He is also acting strangely, though still affectionately. Yesterday he wouldn't be serious at all, and just kept talking to me in a falsetto pussy cat voice, and saying mostly nonsense. He started playing with lit candles and wouldn't stop, even with the danger of burning his hair as he leaned over them. He kept trying to pass his fingers through the flames, to see how much he could get away with.

I'm getting discouraged. If I can't be like a real father to him, I don't think I can do what needs to be done. His erratic behavior scares me. Once before, over a decade ago, I did my best to help a boy with problems. I ended up in jail as a result of a false accusation made by his father. I wonder if I should just cut my losses and say goodbye now. Yes, it will hurt SB very much. But I'm really not sure I can do anything in the long term anyway, and it might be better to hurt him now than after 10 years of false hope on both sides.

Tangie

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Storm Boy #8: 1-21-98 10:58:20p

Things seem to be back on track. I was a little disturbed last night when I went for dinner at his place, because his behavior was odd. When I got there he was asleep, and came to the table later a bit groggy. Then he wouldn't be serious, talking in a squeaky pussy cat voice. His mother also seemed to lack the confidence she had previously had.

But today that's all in the past. He woke up this morning imploring his mother to get in touch with me and apolgise on his behalf. She, when I talked to her this evening, was back to her old friendly self.

I actually went to visit, but they had gone out. I went upstairs and visited Bunny Rabbit instead. When he heard my voice he came dashing out of the bathtub, barely dried off, and flung himself into my arms. His grandmother, who was babysitting, just beamed.

Bunny Rabbit (8) is enamoured of Storm Boy (9) and is now trying his best to emulate him. To my surprise, Bunny Rabbit is not at all jealous (I've known him since he was born, and only met Storm Boy 2 weeks ago). He has proudly proclaimed me as his grandpa; Storm Boy has reserved my poppa status :))

Saturday morning it's off to the bank to start an account for SB. He will start getting a small allowance, too. Time to start learing financial responsibility. BR's mother thinks it's a great idea and will start an account for BR.

Sorry that this isn't very exciting, but that's really all that's been happening.

Tangie.

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Storm Boy #9 - Improvement: 1-22-98 4:14:39p

Good news today. I had mentioned that SB's mom is overprotective and that it was hampering SB's development (at almost 10 he acts like 6 in some ways and is even afraid to sleep in a room away from her).

Now it turns out that her friend, who is also my Bunny Rabbit's mother, feels the same and is going to work on her to try to help. Basically, BR's mom is going to try to convince SB's mom to let the boys have a bit more rope, and to spend time without her present. I didn't expect this ally, but it is very refreshing.

By the way, BR's mom is fully aware of my history, and has been harrassed by the cops and youth protection (who actually ended up apologising to her) and remains solidly in my favour. Actually, even youth protection gave an amber (if not entirely green) light to my friendship with the boys. Amber, in this case, means that they cannot have their address here, but can visit as often as they like.

Anyway, enough boring stuff. There are usually no responses to these posts, so I'll cut back on the frequency of them. Once a week should be enough, I guess.

Tangie.
 

Posted to BoyWrite by Tangie on September 15, 1998 at 09:33:22:

Originally posted on BoyChat - January 09, 1998 at 21:43:27 - etc (as specified)...
 


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